dead end

i am sitting here on my new tablet and decided to let yall know that i am still alive.  Things with my weight loss have come to a standstill and i am actually ok with it for now. The 23rd is my 37th birthday and it hard to believe i am closer to 40 now and very much feeling it.

i read fifty shades of grey and loved it. i am just waiting for my best friend to send the other books.  what can i say reading relaxes me and right now i need to be relaxed as much as possible.

Juicing Day 4

So today has been a pretty good day. I feel great and i am full of energy; my doctor would be ecstatic by this.Sunday I am going to weigh myself; hope fully there will be a weightloss. I am still eating a sensible meal for dinner but come August 1 i am going to be full fledge juicing. I drink tons of water everyday and that sends me to the bathroom almost every 30 mins. pain in the ass i tell ya.

Juicing day 3

this morning juice was absolutely awful because we put to much kale in it but i drank it anyway. Juice for lunch was fanastic and sweeet from the cherries but i loved it and enjoyed it immensely. The hard thing right now is I am absolutely jonesing for carbs.I have the shakes and just was to eat a whole loaf of bread. I don't know how i am going to deal with next month juicing 3 times a day instead of only twice. Wish some luck for me and pray that i do ok.

Juicing Day 2

I had a fabulous juice this morning. It had grapes, strawberries, a peach, a plum, some blueberries and raspberries in it. I am now suffering from all the nutrients going straight to my blood stream. Yesterday my pee smelled like celery how commical is that. I feel alittle more energized today. I took the rest of the juice and made myself a smoothi for lunch. Now I am starving. So for dinner I will have my meal.

We went to the store to buy more fruits and veggies and ran into our neighbor who also is a juicing person. He said to try kale, carrots, and apples.

On the depression side I have been taking my medicine right and added 500 mg of niacin because its supposed to help with depression and i can tell its working cause i don't feel so depressed anymore.

so essential i am feeling way much better and more energized.

Juicing Day 1

Today I starteted juicing.I had a cup of juice in the morning and a cup at lunchtime. We had a sensible dinner because I am trying th ease my self into the fastening. All day i have been crabby and changing the channels every five minutes because that how many times a food commercial comes on. I am majorly jonesing for solid food even now that i have eaten. some hot bread sounds so wonderful right now with the butter melting on it.
So basically mentally I am reck about my food intake. But i am going to do this because i need too.

July 1st

My husband and I have decided to start a juicing fast on the 1st. I am hoping that it will help kick start my weight loss again. I have been eating pretty well except the late night munchies. I am hoping from what I have read it will help me physically, mentally, and emotionally. So trying to find a job is being put on hold so that I can focus on my metal stability right now. I am just not doing so well especially with not taking my medicine right and a really bad side affect to that is having sucicidal thoughts. Yup I was having them and i didn't like it so i have been very adamit about taking my medicine right. But that doesn't take my stress away.The stress is still there and very real. So no worries!!! I am looking for a therapist to help me deal with whats going on in my life until I can change it.

Monday is just Monday

Well here I am still trying to lose weight, not working again, and feeling totally like shit.I have to say though I have not put back to much weight on my body.Me and the hubby are starting to watch what we are eating again.So hopefully my weight will start to come off again.I am at 307 so it could be worse.
Last thing yall heard from me was that my rabbit passed and that my job was great.Yeah it was till I started having chest pains.Then it downhill. But needless to say I still stressed even from not working.My husband and I are talking about buying a yurt and building and living in it until we get me back to work.

I can't continue to live with my brother in law, you thought it was bad earlier now its even worse. Not only am i biting my tongue but i feel as though I am going mad.I am just waiting for a tea party and for alice to show up now.

Gertie if you are out there drop me aline to lend me some words of encouragement. Anyone can lend words if they like. Someone tell me my life will change very soon if i keep my mind set to what i want. Help!!!